Success – what does it mean to you?

Culturally, we tend to view success as the achievement of a specified goal, or a certain level of status which is widely held to connote \’success\’. But is that really the best we can do? Surely the achievement of these goals is borne of some aspiration that lies beyond the mere attainment of some possession or status? Surely, when we take the motivation process to its logical conclusion, we arrive at either a sense of happiness or fulfilment? Try it yourself. Think about all the things you have strived to achieve and think of the ultimate and underlying reason for attempting to achieve this and I would venture that in almost all cases, it was to achieve a sense of happiness or fulfilment.

So if that\’s the case, why don\’t we simply make happiness and fulfilment our benchmarks for success? Admittedly it\’s not as easy to measure as the size of your house, salary or bank balance, and so we have reverted to proxies to evaluate our relative positioning in society. But somewhere along the way, the doctrine for success became very narrow in its scope. As a nation, we started looking at our GDP (Gross Domestic Product) as a barometer of our wellbeing and success. And as individuals, salary and asset levels are a big part of how we view ourselves, hence why it\’s always so taboo to ask people what they earn, as if divulging the precise amount you earn opens you up to immediate classification and relative ranking within your peer group.

Whilst prosperity levels were once quite relevant to our levels of happiness, and whilst it might be convenient for academics to continue with that convention, (as well of course as the government who live and die by tax dollar and what they do with it) we the people are being very poorly served by this archaic measure. Statistics now show that increases in average income are doing very little, if anything at all to our levels of happiness, so why bother giving it such major credence?

In this regard, I take my hat off to the Bhutanese, who have made Gross National Happiness their benchmark. I remember hearing about this when I was 12 years old and thinking it was an incredibly smart approach, and nothing I have observed or learned since has impinged on this view. The index is based on 9 different domains which when aggregated, serve as a decent proxy for wellbeing. The nine domains are: i) psychological wellbeing ii) health iii) education iv) time use v) cultural diversity and resilience vi) good governance vii) community vitality viii) ecological diversity and resilience ix) living standards.

How interesting?! Living standards is only one of the 9. What is especially sweet is when you drill down into the 33 sub-categories which form the index, some of the benchmarks make you melt with warmth for the Bhutanese!

Now I\’m not suggesting the Bhutanese have specified it perfectly, some of it is very localised in flavour, although for their culture, it seems to be pretty bang on. But as a principle? It is brilliant!

Unfortunately, from a politician\’s point of view, it\’s not nearly so easy to manipulate and there\’s no way of using inflation as a means of surreptitiously implying progress! So how quickly anything like this will be adopted is another thing entirely\”¦

But in our own lives, we can make decisions that are based on Gross Personal Happiness (and Fulfilment). And that is not to mean it should be a selfish pursuit, indeed far from it, for one of the things that makes us all feel happy and fulfilled is to do good things by others.

But the problem is, because we have been so cultured into chasing Domestic Product, it\’s hard for us not to give undue weighting to this consideration, and ultimately, to give an unhealthy level of weighting to our own relative status. It\’s like we\’re in some kind of competition with each other, to see who has the smartest house, the most desirable lover, the smartest children, the most desirable job, the most beautiful clothes, the most envy inducing photos on Facebook. Whatever. It seems to penetrate every societal trend, from lifestyle aspiration to technology. Fascinatingly, and as if on cue, Jess was chatting to a chap just this weekend who said he had made homemade pesto, just because his magazine seemed to imply that success was in the ability to have the time and inspiration to hand make a basil and herb salsa!
And of course, this mentality has led us to the rat race, which is alive and well in all major cities throughout the world. But the problem is, as many victors of the rat race have discovered: you bust your balls through most of your best years to win the race, and yet, when the photo finish is complete, you\’re either one of the hoards of losers, or you\’re king of the rats. But you\’re still a rat.

And taking a competitive approach causes you to hardwire your brain to think like this in all aspects of your life. It\’s not like you can leave your rat brain behind at the office and apply a new one at home. We might try, but it will likely cross pollinate its way into your life.

We could also look at the etymology of the word itself. Success originates from the Latin word sucessus, and from the verb succedere which means \’to come close after\’. The word itself implies succession. It implies continual evolution, rather than an absolute state. So let\’s not kid ourselves that success can be achieved and then our work will be done. Let us not kid ourselves that there is a formula for it. For if there were a formula, someone, somewhere in history would have found it and we could have all copied it. Success is unique to each and every individual, and changes as readily as the weather in a temperate climate.

I know we\’re opening up a can of worms here, and of course, a pragmatic approach to life suggests that all life pursuits have their moments of ennui. But, sometimes it\’s good to question the strategy a little bit. Because if our strategic compass is off, our direction is going to be potentially very wonky indeed.

Each and every one of us could probably benefit from reviewing. So if chasing things as a means to achieving happiness is not providing you with a sustainable level of fulfilment, then perhaps it\’s time to go higher up the food chain and see if there is a way to short circuit your route to a fulfilled way of being?

A good starting point is to stop still for just a minute. Take a breath to really see what is around you. Use your senses. Tune into who you really are, and what really IS important to you. Pay attention to what you find so that you can move away from ignoring what you know you need to be doing at any given moment in life. For as long as we ignore, we fail to succeed. We fail to be attuned to the need of the time, and indeed we do this at our peril.

And once you have your answer (or an answer of a kind), don\’t be afraid to take action to help move towards these goals, these true and soul-satisfying aspirations. Small steps can be big steps. Big steps can be transformational leaps. Use the tools you have to help bring yourself into a place of balance so that you are in the best position to realise the route, for the journey will illuminate that which was previously cast in shadow.

Recalibrating our notion of success to reflect that which brings true fulfilment is an interesting exercise that deserves our attention. And making adjustments that help usher in these new soul-satisfying goals will be deeply rewarding. It will imbue you with a lightness and warmth that will bring strength to the depth of your soul, for it will be a true expression of who you are and that is worth finding, exploring and truly celebrating.